epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
