I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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