I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Who did Billy Mays play for?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
