How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
