On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
