fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
