I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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