Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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