I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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