he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
