Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
