just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
