Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
