Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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