Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
