i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
