i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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