How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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