you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
