If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
jump out the window naked night went bad
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