Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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