apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
