Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
