People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
