im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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