hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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