Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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