Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
