I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
