but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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