Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
