my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
