Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
COCAINE IS GR8
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
