So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
