I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
