Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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