Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
