Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
