I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
