Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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