I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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