I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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