i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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