i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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