I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
