I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
