pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
