In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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