My room smells like vodka and shame
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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