yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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